Some people argue that the government should not pay money for international aid when there are some disadvantaged people at home (homeless or unemployed). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
应对这道题目,考生在第二段正文开头是这样写的
On the other hand, international aid, learnt from its name, is an institution facing towards countries instead of individuals. What it can provide to its member states turns out to be more than just funds.
☆ 本期,我们来学习怎样流畅地写出段落之间的承上启下之感。
教师修改后如下
As a matter of fact, it is narrow to look at international aid from a monetary point of view alone, as more benefits are hidden beneath the funds, letting organisations be not only donators but beneficiaries as well.
☆ 其一,学生的第·一句问题在于instead of individuals,这里的表达有种国际援助不面向个人,那么这个“面相”的定依旧很重要,但是学生并没有详细说明;
☆ 其二,这里individual的引出其实是想讲国际援助从个人升华到国家的利益至上,所以face ... instead of individuals就不准确了,不如直接去点明国家不仅是捐赠者也是受益者。
☆ 其三,从讨论的主体上来看,将主体从organisation变为international aid并不合适,因为题目的主题重点在国家参与international aid的程度之上,因而为了文章的流畅度和内容的关联度,从国家的角度出发进行讨论更好 -- 当what it can provide 重的it为international aid时,讨论主体的转换在内容和形式上都不讨巧。
☆ Lexical Resources
a monetary point of view 货币观点
be hidden beneath 隐藏在...之下
beneficiary 受益者
3分钟过去了,你学会了吗?