应对上面这道雅思作文题目,学生在正文写了如下一句话:
In the four cities, landfilling is the main way of waste disposal in Toronto and Amman. The figures were particularly shrinking in Toronto, as the percentage of total waste in landfilling is up to around 73%, and the other figures fluctuate around 10%.
首先要分清图表题型,这张图为“同一时间点上不同国家和不同垃圾处理方式的数据对比”,那么,出现shrink, fluctuate这类趋势词都是不大合适的;
教师修改后如下:
In Toronto and Amman, landfilling is the main method of waste disposal. It deals with as much as 73% in Toronto, where the amounts of waste treated through the other three ways cluster between 8% and 11% only.
直截了当地在开头直接写in Toronto and Amman;
“填埋”和“其他三种方式”处理的垃圾量形成对比,可以用while/whereas等体现,也可以在Toronto地点名词后加where从句;
相对接近的数据群可用的表达为cluster between xx and xx。