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支招小作文 | 看来练bar才能屠鸭!

作者: 2019-10-30 14:04 来源:苏州编辑
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今天的主题是柱图,提供一篇高分范文,供同学们参考!

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The bar chart below shows the number (million) of four kinds of materials borrowed from a particular library in the UK between 1995 and 2005. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 

360截图20191030140310885.jpg


高分范文及解析

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跨年份,时间不连续,不能当成线

所以,写作过程中注意“比较”。


基于学生习作的教师批改

黑色字体为学生习作;橘红色字体为教师批改


The bar chart gives the information of about situations the loans of four kinds of materials from a particular library in the UK loaned four kinds of materials from 1995 to 2005 in three separate years, which are 1995, 2000 and 2005.【注意:时间不连续,避免from … to …】


The number The average frequency of Audio-Visual Materials audiovisual materials was at almost the same levels in the three yearsChildren's Book and【三个项目拆开来写之后,就有了倒装句的机会:】 so were that of children's books and Adult Non-Fiction that of adult non-fiction. borrowed from the library was almost unchanged between 1995 and 2005【注意:由于时间不连续,避免写出线图感。】The low frequency of audiovisual materials is particularly notable,【善用状语从句引出具体数值:】since the largest number, which was in 2005, was merely 30 million. that Children’s books and adult non-fiction were at the level of roughly 100 million times and 200 million times respectively. lent roughly 10 times of the amount of Audio-Visual Materials: 200millions, also the maximum across three materials, compared with 20millions, the minimum. Meanwhile, the group in the middle was lent basically the same amount 100millins which was stable during the 10-years period.【要敢于“舍”。】


It is notable that the 10-years period witnessed sliding numbers in terms of Children's Book borrowed from the library.【注意:由于时间不连续,避免写出线图感。】To put the three years together, there was a slip in the number of times adult fiction was borrowed. There was a sluggish slide from 310 million to 210 million, then it slumped to one third of the original level 100millions, the point children's books' number was reached. Noticeably, during the plunge, adult fiction fell below adult non-fiction. The year of 1995 witnessed the largest number, which was more than 300 million. The other two years are also noteworthy,【善用状语从句引出具体数值:】as the year of 2000 saw the same number as that of adult non-fiction and the year of 2005 witnessed the same number as that of children's books.


Overall, the numbers of those materials borrowed from the library is wererather stable except the number of adult fiction books. 


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