《剑16》Test 3 大作文

破题：

又是经典的同意与否，并且剑16 似乎对于  “糖” 偏爱有加，流程图及大作文都分别提到了 “糖”。

本题一个常见 “跑题”方法在于大篇幅论证含糖食物之于人们的健康危害是什么，或者主要论证少吃糖的好处是什么。出现这样问题的原因大抵是因为只看了题目的前一句话，而忽略了后一句话。尤其是后句中的 “to consume less sugar”。

于是，以后看题要切记先搞清楚题目让我们论证什么，而不能主观臆测，抛掉题目写作。

本题论证若论同意，则重点论证题中所给建议的有效性；若论不同意，则可指出题中方法的不合理之处，并且给出别的可替代方法。

 01 

Over-consumption of sugar, which is prevalent recently, is a major contributor to health problems like tooth decay or diabetes. To cut sugar intake, some propose increasing the price of sugary products. Is this proposal viable? Yes.

☑ 开头段的写作不用长，改写题干+问题即可。倒也不必一味陈述句，尝试自问自答一下。

☑ Tooth decay n. 蛀牙 

☑ Viable adj.  可行的

☑ Prevalent adj. 普遍存在的

☑ Cut v. 减少

 02 

Making sugary products more expensive, at first glance, seems unfair and regressive, as it fails to take into account people’s incomes, and it may disproportionately impact low earners. As a result, while the low-income people may consume less sugar-based products, those higher earners, who find the increased cost immaterial, are highly likely to keep the status quo. In this case, this proposal can hardly reduce the overall sugar consumption. A closer look, however, suggests that it is actually a feasible approach with far-reaching implications. 

☑ 本段采取了很常见的一种让步角度：即说某种措施不公平【影响一类人，而不影响另外一类人】，也就是我们常说的思虑不周。至于反驳部分，不妨只写本段的最后一句话，给出笼统的信息，留待下段展开细说。

☑ disproportionately  adv. 不成比例的

☑ Immaterial adj.无关紧要的

☑ Feasible adj. 可行的

☑ keep the status quo 【动词短语】保持现状

 03 

First, this approach is a signal, conveying a message that the authorities recognize the excessive intake of these products are hazardous to health. For those high earners who are health-conscious enough, they would definitely control their sugar intake in response to the message. And what if they are not, their extra expenses on sugary products, generating taxes, would at least increases the government’s revenues, which could be allocated to health promotion campaigns aiming to instill in people health awareness. Sooner or later more people would cultivate health awareness, thereby curtailing sugar intake. In addition, with more people consciously curbing sugar consumption, the increased price actually incentivizes manufacturers to develop alternative products catering to customers’ changing tastes. For example, they may remove sugar in bread, lower sugar in beverages, or replace sugar in biscuits. Hence, people are allowed to shift their demand to those low-sugar substitutes. 

☑ 从两个方面【人&厂家】论述这个方法之于限制人糖的摄入的可行性，从而使文章内容更加丰富。同时记得回应前段的让步部分。

☑ Hazardous adj. 有害的 【尤指对人的健康或者安全方面】

☑ health-conscious adj. 重视健康的

☑ Allocate v. 分配...给

☑ Curtail v. 削减，限制

 04 

In conclusion, in terms of curbing people’s sugar consumption, increasing the price of sugary products, which decreases their sales, is effective, but it can really do so much more - funding health promotion activities and behooving manufacturers to remake products.  

☑ 结尾段，重新点明文章立场+概述分论点即可。可千万要注意这里立场的给出不能与前文不符。