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苏州新航道 > 雅思写作 > 支招小作文(81) | 柱图6

支招小作文(81) | 柱图6

来源:      浏览:      发布日期:2022-05-18 15:24

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今天新航道雅思小编给大家分享一篇雅思考试小作文真题范文。每一篇范文都经由专业团队反复校对,最终外教审查定稿。成功就是日复一日那一点点小小努力的积累。

* 柱图,选自《剑桥雅思真题集13》

小作文.png

Introduction

Shown in the chart are the percentages of two types of housing – the owned and the rented – in England and Wales, and the investigated period spans from 1918 to 2011. The general tendency is evident. Owned accommodation increased over the years while rented accommodation decreased accordingly.

* 第·一句话的倒装现象,之前已经无数次提及。得到GRA语法分数。

* 时间和地点状语没有全部堆在一个句子的尾部,而是把图中的时间跨度信息写成一个单独的分句。得到GRA语法分数。

* 第三句话是一个起到信息引导作用的短句,隔在两个较长的句子之间,用来调整段落的行文节奏。得到CC文脉分数。

Body

With increasing numbers of people purchasing homes, home ownership had increased to 50% by the year of 1971. Accordingly, the proportion of households that rent housing had a downtrend, falling to 50% in 1971. It is also noteworthy that there was a wide disparity between the two original levels – 78% versus 22%.

* 第二句的开头的accordingly非常重要:这个副词把第二句和第·一句建立起了联系。得到CC文脉分数。

* 这个段落里出现的数值描述仅有3处(对应舍弃了许多没有特点的数值),足够覆盖前5组柱子(10个数值)的主要特征。得到TA内容分。

* 这个段落还有另外一个写法,如下:

The year of 1971 is particularly noticeable, since it witnessed equal shares of both types of households. Before that year, home ownership displayed a steady increase, while renting decreased accordingly. In addition, the  vast disparity between the two original levels – 78% versus 22% – is also noteworthy. 

* 这个写法就是第·一句和第二句的内容逻辑与上一个段落的前两个句子不同,但是殊途同归。

During the subsequent years, households in owned accommodation showed continued overall increase and outnumbered households in rented accommodation. However, the year of 2011 is notable. In that year, there was a decline – albeit negligible – in the proportion of households living in their own property, and households in rented homes had a corresponding proportional increase. 

* 尤其注意第二个句子,又是一个起到信息引导作用的短句,隔在两个较长的句子之间,用来调整段落的行文节奏。得到CC文脉分数。

* 文中所有高亮标出的词汇都很重要,值得记忆以及勿忘使用。

Conclusion

* 本文无conclusion。如果在开头段落里有个对于图表的宏观描述,那么就可以没有总结性的段落。注意:是“可以没有”,不是“必须没有”


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